Sheila Sims Iding
Purging and sorting and getting rid of things can be hard for most people. It’s made even harder if you are too sentimental or pin meaning on every little thing. A piece fabric, a wooden desk, a tall stool shouldn’t be cause of sentimentality unless they leave holes where life used to be.
This will be my 8th year of teaching in the same classroom. Care Corner has been more than my workplace for 8 years. It has been my home away from home and...on some days, admittedly, it has been my haven and my refuge. And…even more…it has been the same for some students, some friends and some colleagues.
Chris Ehrenberger helped me set up my classroom 8 years ago. We spent many days one summer in that room…and sometimes even many evenings and nights. Chris has amazing vision for classrooms and defining spaces, organizing things, creating flow and making each part of the classroom functional, efficient and productive. So the set up has always remained the same…because of Chris’ incredible vision and input.
And…for the most part…the rest of Care Corner has stayed the same too. While better teachers and more creative teachers than I ever hope to be may switch things up every year, Care Corner has mostly remained the same. I covered my bulletin boards in fabric so they didn’t fade or tear and there was no need to change the background or borders year after year. They were old to me…but new to each group of Care Corner Kids. So…nothing really changed…until this summer.
I decided Care Corner needed new life, new energy, new feng shui. (A term Chris taught me that one summer.) As much as I wanted to move things around, Chris’ initial vision made everything work so smoothly, I didn’t dare move things. She had made it perfect.
A science cube (science center) by the window to bring in nature – perfect.
A prayer corner on the other side of that window to appreciate God’s creation – perfect.
A storyland filled with books right in the middle of the wall so kids can easily get there and discover books there – perfect.
My teacher desk tucked in the corner by the shelves to store supplies and by the school’s front entrance window to casually greet others - perfect.
Young Authors’ table by the board for writing and by storage cubbies for all the supplies and creativity a young author could need – perfect.
Even the mass crosses by the classroom door so you pass by them with every coming and going – perfect.
So this summer I decided to change the one thing I can change and that is the bulletin boards. No big deal. Just taking down paper, fabric and borders. Teachers all over the world are doing that or will be. It’s no big deal except what happened as the paper and fabric came down so did the memories. As each bulletin board became empty, my too-sentimental heart filled with memories.
What was life like when I put that paper up all those years ago?
What people have come and gone from my life…from life…since I first put it up?
How many sad days and happy celebrations have come and gone since that summer day all those years ago when I put the first holes in those bulletin boards?
I couldn’t reuse the fabric because it had so many holes it in and it made me wonder how many spelling and reading words were tacked to that one board to create all those holes?
How many holiday and seasonal decorations were around the Words of the Month board?
And one of the hardest ones was the star student board. How many Care Corner Kids proudly displayed their family, their pets, their art work, their very self in all the star students boards that come and go in all those years? That star student bulletin board was wrapping paper with stars on it and the holes seemed bigger and seemed to leave more of an imprint on that paper…in my heart. Some of those kids are in junior high now. Some have moved away. Some still stop by. Lots of holes. Lots of memories.
The boards weren’t the only thing I changed. The hardest thing to change and let go of was a tall teaching desk. It’s like a big podium with storage. It was sideways in its space up by the board but I turned it to face the kids for more productive teaching. When I turned it, because it is tall, it blocked too much board space. So…I had to leave it the way it was or leave it behind. I decided to leave it behind and get rid of it. No big deal…it’s just a desk that leaves a hole when you move it. A big hole.
And when you are sentimental, the hole fills with memories. Memories of moving it from the old primary wing to this new wing when I was a teacher aide. Moving that tall desk involved a cart, hard work and some silly teachers. (Just sayin'). Memories of a good friend and a special teacher, Julie Tejkl, standing there teaching. And memories of her being so sick from her cancer that she used a stool at that tall desk to teach the best she could.
Through all the years, that desk has had many kids faces peeking over the top of it. Many toothless grins waiting by it for an “I lost a tooth” sticker. Many love notes and art masterpieces taped to its side. Many 1st graders climbing on that stool by the tall desk for reading buddies, flashcard games and young authors’ chair.
It’s funny that a tall desk could leave such a big hole in that classroom. Besides the special "Julie" memories, I realize that I have never taught a day without standing at that desk. I have never started a day with my students without being near that desk. I have never left Care Corner at the end of the day without uncovering the top of that desk from all the busy-ness of teaching that day.
The tall desk is pushed aside for another teacher. The fabric from the old boards is washed and folded. The old border is rolled up and stored. But there is a hole where the tall desk used to be, there are still staple holes in the border and the fabric is peppered with holes lovingly put there from students and learning and teaching. And…when you struggle with sentimentality…those holes have meaning…and those holes have memories.
I have spent the summer redoing the bulletin boards in burlap. Reorganizing the teaching space with a cheap L-shape desk that is short and doesn’t block the board. When I walk in the classroom now and the big tall desk is gone, there seems to be hole where it used to be.
I redid the star student board and wonder which Care Corner Kid will initiate it with pictures of family, friends, pets and self. Which kid will be the first star student of that new board? Which one will leave the first of many new meanings…new memories…new holes?